overheard at the airport
a tall, skinny white guy with a striped shirt and cell phone headset paces in a windowed corner at the DC airport. it's early evening and the sun is setting behind jets. i've got my back to a row of windows. next to me is cari and skipping over a few seats is an african american lady working on her computer with earplugs. across from me is a man working on his computer. we're all waiting for a delayed flight to dallas.
"no. no. you don't understand. he can't be seen with a hat on! i got another report that malcolm had a fedora on. this is against dress code. image is everything in this business and for him to be seen in a fedora is unacceptable! do you need me to call malcolm. because i'll call malcolm. you know what, i'll send him an email tonight explaining to him that he can't be in a hat. in fact, when he's on business, he needs to be in a suit and tie. and not a western tie. a proper tie. i'll email him tonight."
pause. he's listening to his earpiece intently.
"furthermore, i saw where he spent over $1000 on books at the airport. who knows what he was reading! he can't be seen reading just any book! he needs to know that his personal development is in our hands! i will personally give him a list of books he can choose from."
we casual listeners are by this time riveted. i glance at cari and the african american lady leans forward to catch my eye.
"do you hear this? oh my god. do you hear this? i'm gonna call my sister. tellin' him he can't read books or wear a hat...."
i chuckle. cari chuckles. the guy typing on his computer cracks a grin. it's so comical we can't NOT laugh. the african american lady pulls her earplugs out and says again, "did you hear that? seriously. did. you. hear. that?"
it's a gaggle by now and we're all talking outloud about it. the man goes on:
"listen, malcolm has to know he can't be seen in a fedora and can't be seen reading certain books. no western ties. always in a suit when he's on george bush business...."
i couldn't make this up if i tried.
